I ask myself a multitude of questions I cannot answer. Such as, is that a lion? How did it get here? How far is the closest zoo? Have I been abducted by aliens and returned to Africa? But the most important question of all, why is the lion coming towards me? Of course, my feet know the answer to all the questions. RUN you fool, RUN! Off I go, the lion on my heels, I can feel his breath on the back of my neck, as if that is not bad enough he is slobbering and my back is wet, slimy and sticky. I know lion slobber sounds nasty, but the up side is, the slobber kept his claws from catching my back. I am in luck; if I can make it to that tree, he cannot catch me. Made it, up the tree I go, lion in hot pursuit. I have seen enough animal shows to know that lions cannot climb trees. Or, was that bears? I am still climbing. The lion is climbing behind me. I suppose he missed the lion program I had watched and did not realize he was not able to climb trees. (Maybe that was bears, now that I think about it.)The lion has caught up to me and is chewing on my heel. OWWW it is so painful. Blood is running everywhere. My blood? MY BLOOD!, is pouring from my foot!
I am at the top of the tree; I cannot go any higher. If I jump out of the tree, will I be able to out run the lion with a chewed foot? What to do, what to do? I do the only thing I can think of that makes sense to me. I make a fist and shove it down the lion’s throat in an attempt to choke him to death.
This is when my wife shakes me and asks, “Why are you thrashing and screaming?”
“The lion is about to get me but I almost have it choked down.” I replied.
She showed deep concern for my plight by telling me, and I quote, "put the cat out and go back to sleep."
Eddie Binning
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